A,B,3; 9+4=THIRTEEN

I've been up since 6:30 and finally had a chance to meet up with Lavon for a studio critique. All artists have their highs and lows, ultimately I have to live with my own decisions. I try to learn from every place, person, and struggle that I encounter. Last night I was at Boulder Cafe with les triplettes de belleville listening to ambient sound machine keyboards and cellos... Even in this I can take away something to add or reflect off of my work. Kevin said he was thinking of layers through out the entire performance. Last night I dreamt of glass paintings, motion over panels, and illumination. This world I belong to is give and take, it's a submersion of everything you're most passionate about, it's not an easy path to understand even for those of us who live it. I need to continue concentrating on the exploration of ideas and mediums, without being too critical of what I am supposed to be doing, or more better put what others believe I should be doing.

Trashed Vignelli Panels

John has been asking me how to do my graphic line, so I showed him in Illustrator how I handle certain strokes, I wonder what he will come up with. I'm watching Henrik, Kevin and Remo in the studio right now, they're painting on the Vignelli panels that we dug out of the trash, they're about 6ft a 6ft. Lol, JPR just stepped into a bucket of water. They're painting in acrylic, I was hanging out earlier, oil takes forever to dry... I have to take some shots of this two brush technique, it reminds me of Dave Choe, I'll write more later.

I'm sitting in Postmodernism class and we're on break... I really don't understand this chatter. People write about art theory and the philosophy of architecture like if they know something special, I wonder how many of them have ever picked up a brush or created anything. I find a lot of these writings to be full of egotistical jargon, or at the least very elitist. Blah Blah Blah, so what? I just want to get back into the studio...

On the lighter side of things, I was assisting Gina in her 2D foundations class and the students seemed to be really responsive to suggestions and constructive criticism, I really enjoyed the experience. I was impressed by some of the insightful observations.

The Test of Time.

I’m eating some strawberry and green tea “creamy mousse” chocolate sticks, Maasa brought them back from Tokyo, but she called them cookies. Dropping out of school has crossed my mind about ten times or so. I’m not really sure how serious my thoughts have been, but the emotions are based around my frustration with structure. Perhaps it’s simply the artist in me, but structure can be limiting outside of being an educator. (Or so it seems at times.) I find some classes to be far too slow or time consuming. I’m not at all a trained painter, and it’s my own fault of curiosity for taking a foundations oil class, I’m not sure how to feel about this traditional method. I remember how de Kooning was always trying to explore and pull away from his European training as a master painter. I love the textures one can achieve, but my interest in painting seashells and skulls is non-existent, especially for hours at a time. I understand how important it is for learning purposes, but my concern is with how to use the medium in my work, and even then only up to a certain point, I have no desire to become a Renaissance painter. The medium is very foreign to me; layers and light are very different from graphic line.

Rauschenberg.

Most of my energy has been spent in the Printmaking studio developing halftones and test results for my workbook and for future projects. The press has always been a rejuvenating force; it reminds me of why I am here. John and I were helping out Keith photograph some of his large collaboration landscape paintings with an Asian artist in China. He left yesterday for his show in Michigan; Michelle really does have great proportions. Remo redid some of his huge panels last night, I just saw them, they look much better, they may be his personal project and not the collaboration piece he’s been working on. He really improved the motion lines of the figure, and the color is working much better.

I could use a nap; much of the weekend was spent moving out of 775 Park Ave. where Gallery R used to be. We need a new location, I’m hoping for the East Ave. spot that used to be a piano house and currently holds rugs. Henrik gave me a last minute flyer project Friday night and I didn’t want to blow it off, it turned out ok. I just printed a few 4-color silkscreens for class, the colors work together terribly, but it was just something to hand in. I hate making artwork in classrooms, I’m just going to stop showing up. I’ve never cared about grades, and neither does NYC. I thought grades would be important because I want to be a professor, but I got to thinking how in the real world they don’t really matter to some extent. I should trust my instincts and just concentrate on my work and portfolios, as long as I don’t fail. If someone doesn’t want to hire me based on grades then I probably wouldn’t want to work for them anyways because that just says a lot about their type of thinking.

I met with Alex last week after class, I’m thinking of working my (Post) Modernism paper into my Thesis work, or to at least use it as a foundation. I’m reading Craig Owen’s “Allegorical Impulse” paper and “Art School Propositions.” I’m sure he’ll give me more recommended reading though.

the ideas of before and after

(Post) Modernism seems to have a handle on everything like some kind of Enlightenment. A formula for A - Z and all that is in between; being able to connect all the letters at will with a mastering of the entire process and progression of mankind. Information at your fingertips can be a powerful thing, but you need tools, ideas, and perhaps a little imagination. I see hybridization becoming the new medium of the future, everything will mix and seem seamless. At times, my aesthetics seem to show the blur, Andy used to leave a mic within the frame or wiggle the camera so you would know what you were looking at. Registration marks give you insight, off registered plates... I'm back in the studio again, I could use an assistant when it comes to working on a larger scale. I'm still trying to balance out my reading, studio work, and TA hours. Art supplies and books are expensive, I should look into actually selling work instead of it accumulating underneath my bed. It would be in my interest to really develop a system for getting my prints and paintings into shows and networks. However, I feel it's more important to simply concentrate on the work, I have to produce, and do it well; do it Naturally.

I gave Adair one of the prints I was working on, hopefully it finds her doing well in NYC. A few people took interest at LUX. I'm glad my windows face the tree line, I'm looking forward to Fall, it's my favorite season. Everything here is slow! It's pleasant but can kind of get frustrating at times, it's probably just me. I feel like I'm losing so much time.

all the bells and whistles

I have been thinking that it may perhaps be best to pull the inspiration for my Thesis from my interests and experiences of the last few years. Many of these interests play on the idea of Hybridization, the questioning of gallery space, permanence, street art, and political awareness… I miss the fast pace of NYC! I never took many pictures while living in Manhattan but I do have a few and remember the day I made a point to record my surroundings in order to not forget the feeling that makes up such a unique place. I’ve been frustrated with Rochester’s slow atmosphere; some of my classes are too familiar and amateur, especially Serigraphy. However, it’s only the first week, I must be patient with myself. (It’s quite possible I have some type of attention disorder.) I remember in class how one student explained a scenario represented by variable letters; I was surprised because I too have used the same words in order to explain things, but no one ever understands what I am talking about.

I would like to combine one of my glitch/deconstructive video projects with some prints. John made a good suggestion to replicate my jellyfish video as Intaglio types, using the same aesthetic style. (I found this to be a great suggestion; the only thing that other people told me was that it was sweet.) My thesis should have a message or at least make a respectable question that invokes an inner response. Questions in many ways are more valuable than answers. Answers are sometimes quite boring. If my work is to be Aesthetically pleasing or “candy” like, is it at least something different? I need to push the boundaries of simple charms. Does it convey anything?

Maybe I should consider the Sublime or Colossal, but why?

I remember Tom’s thesis show with the erased chalkboards, I thought they were great but nobody really seemed to notice. Communication. I have to have self-discipline; I should start getting up early. Maybe 4:30? Perhaps (Post) Modernism is something we’ve had all along. It’s really just questioning and understanding the past in the context of the present along with the potential of the future. Art movements aren’t really labeled until after they happen anyways, so what’s (Post) Modernism? Maybe it’s the amateur’s chance to succeed. Enlightenment is an Elitist privilege. I don’t see how there can be much PM in a country like Africa that lacks infrastructure. Commodity. How long does this Thesis have to be anyways, I wish they would just give me an outline or something. I saw Fran with someone’s work and it was about almost three quarters to an inch worth of papers. I don’t understand why art needs to be explained at all. Isn’t it supposed to be open for interpretation? I hate describing and working in front of people, at least most of the time. It takes away from the magic of the studio, it changes the perspective of things. It’s the faded AWWWEEE from when you reveal the secret of your magic tricks.

What a SCAM. $$$$$$$

Concentrate. Concentrate. Concentrate.

Let me first reflect on the good during my frustration to remind myself why I came to RIT in the first place. Already, I am looking forward to the class discussions in my (Post) Modern history class, there are a few distinguished students that raise interesting observations, nothing quite new from what I am familiar with at the moment, but rather quite complimenting and refreshing. I find that those particular outspoken individuals have specialized interests that may vary from mine and they therefore have a better understanding of particular mediums or certain contexts of social settings.

I should get to my readings for now, but as to my frustrations... I hate wasting time, I do enough of it on my own and would rather not discuss trivial things like why my studio is in painting, why is it that I am by undergraduate students, am I distant from the graduate students? So many little things that shouldn't matter to anyone but me for the most part so I won't go on, but will answer a few of those thoughts to remind myself why it is I'm here in the first place.

I am actually quite particular to little details, perhaps it's my interest of learning combined with my personal character and training as a visual graphic designer.

1. My studio is adequate in size to work in the scale of my interest. (It's by FAR not the largest.)

2. I loved the lighting, I have two clear and open lights above my space, as well as a flood light just outside my wall which compliments my work environment.

3. Being a graduate student I will always be around my peers and make/have time to share with them, I don't wish to segregate myself from the underclassmen. I like to keep an open-mind, in this case I have access to both worlds, and that's how I like it.

4. Painting is Printmaking; Printmaking is Painting (I'm not going to go into detail or explain because It's somewhat subjective and I don't expect everyone to see things as I do.) I'd rather have a discussion in person and not type behind a computer screen when it comes to this matter. (I don't need to understand my own opinion, it's already mine.)

5. I like to be a little distant, it's good for reflection. I don't want to be entirely submerged. In my own way I'm already submerged and trying to figure out things steps away, you just don't see it. I am always watching and am quite sensitive to my surroundings, you just don't always take notice. I need to learn more, I am making up for wasted time, I feel so far behind.

My first post from iPhone may be something that is more to come, most likely with late night thoughts. But as of this morning I was woken up by the sound of car horns and an argument that's been going on outside my window for the last 20 mins. "You pulled my hair!"

A few things that have been on my mind... Karen pointed out an interesting observation on installation art. I was talking about Murakami and how some of his paintings really feel more like dizzying consuming environments. And she had mentioned how some people think that if you put up a painting or series of things that it becomes an installation. The conversation led to the questioning of environment and site specificity. If your installation is the same no matter where you put it up (without it having considered or responded/commented on it's environment) is it still just a paintin or simply sculpture?

I bought a 30 x 48 canvas out of it being on sale... Which has brought up the question of the Canvas itself. I won't get into galleries at the moment but in comparison to street art where one creates an image on almost anything imagineable or accessable, canvas seems to me almost outdated or limited in a way. Why not paint on paper,plexi,copper? I suppose I question these things for the same reason I started doing four color intaglio on PETG plates, not because I was so concerned with registration but rather because it was cheaper than purchasing copper. You come to question the traditional standards and materials of "Art" when you realize that their products come from an overpriced Capitalistic consumer world. Paint on cans, boxes, tinfoil... Run your car over a puddle of paint and see how far you can leave your mark, maybe you can make one longer than Rauschenberg.

I remember Ayo had made a joke once that caught fire, "I'm 27, all of my Dreams are Dead!"

I feel as though
I've lost what was never mine to begin with, and I will never have what is mine to come.

Gallery. Walls. Crumble.

Tonight seems like a good time for reflection. I am tired, what a great feeling. It’s like right before you take a shower from a long muddy filled day. Agua Dulce.

I’ve been going out for the past few carefree nights, inspiration from the streets overflow my mind, live it, be out there. Life doesn’t always just simply come to you, knocks at the door are rare, but “Hi.” can surprisingly go a long way. Compliment the genuine strikes of influence that come across your path.

I love to see the life that surrounds me; the faces, colours, and rhythms which bounce off of everything. These changing rhythms are intoxicating at times, they are genius in the purest form, I love to see them flow.

The graduate orientation at RIT was very unexpected, what great representations of culture. I saw people from all over the world, they were all so interesting, The welcoming committee panel had a few very well spoken and independent forward thinking speakers. (The British accent brightened up the room.) The night led to playing dominoes and hanging out with my new Dominican friends, all 20 of them. Such friendly and welcoming people… Victor is a fun character, we mesh well, the independent film duo. Reiner, Guillermo, Fernando, Clemente, what great names, these are lovely people. I hope to see more of them, perhaps salsa dancing is in the near future.

I met a girl named Maasa from Tokyo, what a small world. It turns out she went to school ten minutes away from my family’s house in MA. Not only that, but tonight I came across a photographer (Manuel) whose family is actually from Puerto Rico. (Very close to Aguirre.) We shared stories of the streets and buildings, what fun! His photos capture moments from all over the world. Poverty. I’ve always found it quite sad and yet surprisingly full of the most filled smiles I’ve ever seen. Hard faces. Raw worked hands. Sadness. Beautiful. Real World.

The gallery spaces downtown are interesting; you just have to find the right places to go. Even the wrong places can be the right places on opening nights; it’s about the show, the people. I must see and experience more of what is out there, forever reflecting until my death. I must keep a watchful eye in order to keep from a slumber of mundane and mediocrity. I will go see the artwork again, (Maybe this time with Victor.) I always like to go back, it's important.

John Remo is a fun guy, we saw his work in the Arts and Cultural Council print show, across from Booksmart Studio. I think his gestural line work is wonderful and hope to see more of his colours.

I’m looking forward to the studios, and yet am intimidated by their plain walls.
But not for long, I will fill them. Art. Can you really make art? Sometimes It all really falls on a personal level for me. It’s my thoughts, hopes, dreams, aspirations… On the good days. It’s about questions and childish wondering. Unanswered thoughts and both miscellaneous and slight recollections. (What drunken words come from my window at night.)

Perhaps I should have traded shirts with the woman at the gallery, but I was wearing one of my favorites! Next time. Dinner awaits. Conversations.

Time will tell. Must find the right formula.