The Test of Time.

I’m eating some strawberry and green tea “creamy mousse” chocolate sticks, Maasa brought them back from Tokyo, but she called them cookies. Dropping out of school has crossed my mind about ten times or so. I’m not really sure how serious my thoughts have been, but the emotions are based around my frustration with structure. Perhaps it’s simply the artist in me, but structure can be limiting outside of being an educator. (Or so it seems at times.) I find some classes to be far too slow or time consuming. I’m not at all a trained painter, and it’s my own fault of curiosity for taking a foundations oil class, I’m not sure how to feel about this traditional method. I remember how de Kooning was always trying to explore and pull away from his European training as a master painter. I love the textures one can achieve, but my interest in painting seashells and skulls is non-existent, especially for hours at a time. I understand how important it is for learning purposes, but my concern is with how to use the medium in my work, and even then only up to a certain point, I have no desire to become a Renaissance painter. The medium is very foreign to me; layers and light are very different from graphic line.

Rauschenberg.

Most of my energy has been spent in the Printmaking studio developing halftones and test results for my workbook and for future projects. The press has always been a rejuvenating force; it reminds me of why I am here. John and I were helping out Keith photograph some of his large collaboration landscape paintings with an Asian artist in China. He left yesterday for his show in Michigan; Michelle really does have great proportions. Remo redid some of his huge panels last night, I just saw them, they look much better, they may be his personal project and not the collaboration piece he’s been working on. He really improved the motion lines of the figure, and the color is working much better.

I could use a nap; much of the weekend was spent moving out of 775 Park Ave. where Gallery R used to be. We need a new location, I’m hoping for the East Ave. spot that used to be a piano house and currently holds rugs. Henrik gave me a last minute flyer project Friday night and I didn’t want to blow it off, it turned out ok. I just printed a few 4-color silkscreens for class, the colors work together terribly, but it was just something to hand in. I hate making artwork in classrooms, I’m just going to stop showing up. I’ve never cared about grades, and neither does NYC. I thought grades would be important because I want to be a professor, but I got to thinking how in the real world they don’t really matter to some extent. I should trust my instincts and just concentrate on my work and portfolios, as long as I don’t fail. If someone doesn’t want to hire me based on grades then I probably wouldn’t want to work for them anyways because that just says a lot about their type of thinking.

I met with Alex last week after class, I’m thinking of working my (Post) Modernism paper into my Thesis work, or to at least use it as a foundation. I’m reading Craig Owen’s “Allegorical Impulse” paper and “Art School Propositions.” I’m sure he’ll give me more recommended reading though.